Friday, December 4, 2009

Or not...

10 hours of sleep and I feel worse. Nose is completely blocked now. Might just bag it. Oh well.

And how angry was that last post? Swear much?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Stupid Bikereg

You had to put up the current PACX standings didn't you? F'ing a-hole, thanks... As you can see I was quite happy to end my season last weekend. Now I see that I'm somehow, by some fucking miracle, in 4th place? WTF is that? I sucked balls all season and I'm in 4th place?! Uh.... ok. So now I have to go to Marysville and try to kick the shit out of some poor bastard I don't even know. I'm not worried about Gunnar. Either I'll beat him by a small margin or he'll beat me by a small margin. Festa is doing the A's so that just leaves this one dude. There are pro's and con's to this weekend. Pro: No one knows who the fuck I am and that I've been riding sick and busted up all season. So I won't be marked. Con: I just got another cold. Some virus that makes it hard to swallow and it hurts to breath. That being said, since when does 'cross care about whiny bitches and pain. I can ride through a sore throat. Pro: No one is showing up for this race. Should make for a clean race. I just have to stay ahead of the enevitable d-bag who is going to crash on the 1st lap. Con: Remember I said it hurts to breathe? Well that means I haven't been on a bike since Tuesday. Hopefully I can squeeze in some openers sometime tomorrow night.

So who knows what's going to happen. All I know is I'm coming back into form and if this cold bug doesn't sop I should have a clear shot at winning this thing. Still pissed about Mercer...

And I wanted to sit at home and drink some good porter this weekend. Damn it!

Oh and one unrelated note. I saw this bumper sticker (and almost all bumper stickers are annoying but this one...) on my way home the other day. It said this country was founded on Christian beliefs not Liberal... something. You get the point. There is so many things wrong with that fucking sticker I don't know where to begin. First off this country was founded on the lives/deaths of the lower class. This country survived because our lower and middle class is willing to pick up a gun and take a bullet. It also is founded on the genocide and oppression of it's native inhabitants. Just like every other empire to have ever ruled this planet. Why do people believe everything they are told on their ultra conservative radio/church/circle jerk meeting?

Monday, November 30, 2009

High note

Not that anyone is reading this so I can pretty much say whatever I want. This blog shit is like an online diary for public viewing. I never kept a journal (manly term for diary) so I have no idea why I feel compelled to now. But whatever, I digress.

Back to your regularly scheduled bike rant. My nightmarish season has come to an end. BUT!! not without a silver lining. Let's start with Saturday's PA State Champ cyclocross race. I somehow got a callup? Maybe because the top 10 guys in the state didn't show, except for Gunnar. The course hadn't changed a bit for better or worse. I'm pretty sure they kept the tape up since last year. SO the start is uphill and paved. A few dudes went real fast out of the gate and blew up before we go to the top. About 10 of us rolled away from the pack but not at a race winning pace. Everyone was marking Gunnar and he was just taking his time. Such a change from last year. It's good to see him coming into his own. Although I do miss beating him. Anyway, after about 2 laps the pace was lifted and I got popped due to a side stitch. (I'd give both nuts for a cure to this problem) Jason E. went flying by me and caught the break. That was cool to see. But back to me, I was ready to step off the bike and call it a day. But I was riding with this Dynaflow guy and after some back and forth I dropped him. So that gave me some confidence back. Side stitch still lingering I tried to maintain my pace without letting anyone catch me. But there was a nice size chase behind me trying to reel me in. Two of them flew off and caught me. One dude from Bicycle Therapy kept going at an incredible speed (compared to mine). The other faded and latched onto is wheel for the last lap. The kid didn't complain or ask me to work just pulled me around the whole last lap. Just for that I wanted to let him come in ahead of me but as we were coming around the bend to the finish he slowed so I just said, "fuck it", and started to sprint. I was in my little ring and completely spun out 20 meters to the line. The kid beat me for 12th place fair and square by about 6 inches. Good for him. I was actually happy to have sprinted with someone for once. My whole season I've just rode across the finish alone.
Sunday, Phelps race in Malvern. This race got no love from the 'cross community last year and again this year. Shame for any 'cross race to have low numbers. I know plenty of dudes who sat at home on Sunday. Not sure why. I recognized about half the guys most of them I've beaten all year (not trying to be arrogant just honest) so I wasn't intimidated. But Gunnar was there so I was happy about that. I like racing against people I know and who are faster then me. Makes it more challenging. I lined up next to the kid who out sprinted me the day before. Nice guy not sure who he races for. Whistle blew and everyone took off. I found myself very quickly 2nd wheel. I don't like going out first. For many reasons. One I don't like setting the early pace because I usually blow up and two just by being 1st or second means I'm going to hard. SO I stop pedaling and let 5 or so pass me before we hit the first corner. I watched Gunar eat shit and sounded like he broke something. I was bummed but suddenly that fucking kid came out of no where and was back on my wheel. Then he quickly came around and went clear pulling some other guy who I vaguely remember from a few road races with him. We were going through the one off camber section when some breakaway dude stopped dead in front of me and I had to dismount and run up the hill. I hate running so I was pretty pissed about that. Apparently my anger shot me clear of everyone and I found myself catching up to Gunnar and this dude. As soon as I caught them Gunnar attacked and I went with dropping dude in yellow. This is towards the end of 1st lap. By lap two we had a ridiculous lead and were not in any danger of getting caught. So we slowed up a bit, and just enjoyed the lead. With 2 to go Gunnar attacked. I wasn't sure why as he didn't need to. I kind of dropped him by accident a few times and I wasn't sure if he thought I was trying to get away. Anyway he went and gapped me by like 30 secs with ease. I caught back up o him with a 5 sec lead with 1 to go. Then he went again. Same thing, but I could close it down and I congratulated him going into the final turns. Good race and I settled for 2nd place. I wasn't so much happy with the 2nd place as I was with keeping up with Gunnar. Something I haven't been able to do all season because of all the shit that's happened. Like I told my wife, I'd come back into form for the last race. I was right. It was a good day. My wife and son were there cheering and I could slow up and wave at them all while riding at the front with ease. I've missed that.

So I'm going out on a high note. That's a wrap. Going to ride the shit out of my mtb this winter and just have fun before gay road racing starts. I'm already planning on 2010 'cross season.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thanksgiving Day Ride

Great time on the new SS 29er.

Video courtesy of Geronimo

Thanksgiving Day MTB Ride 2009 from Geronimok on Vimeo.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

No news good is good news

I've got nothing to post. Really, I've got nothing. I'm trying not to be negative as has been brought to my attention. So my update is this; I've raced and had fun and had some horrible (I'm trying) results. But I really don't care. I've given up on this cyclocross season and have just decided to ride my bike and have fun.

But the good news is my legs are coming around. States is the last big race so I'll try to pull something out of my ass for that one. Trying to stay motivated but it's really hard when you race like shit and feel like shit. I tried the 5th St. race an I was getting lappped. Mostly because I couldn't keep my bike upright. Another mental blow is to find out that I can't handle my bike in greasy mud. Geronimo gave me some good advice on how to corner in slick mud like that. God knows when I'll be able to do that tough. I' love to practice it over and over until I get it right. Maybe mother nature will bless me with Belgian weather for the rest of the year. But as far as 5th St. goes it was indescribable. It was pitch black, 55 degrees, and pouring rain. I chugged a beer mid-race, swallowed some dead cold fish with gummy bears and berries, and was chased by a costume bear. Most people were there just having fun. Some dudes were racing all out. Which made it weird to be in a race where some people just wanted to have fun and other people wanted to dominate it like it was a usgp. I would have liked it more if everyone was just goofing off and drinking beer but trying to race half assed. Or maybe not. I don't know. That's why it was indescribable. I'm not sure how I feel about it. To make sure, I'm going to go back and race it again. Maybe if I'm not such a fucking downer Geronimo will car-pool again since I had no idea how we got there. This time I'll bring good beer.

What I am excited about is riding my 29er. I rode it all of once. Had a blast and it's been collecting dust ever since due to races every single weekend. Thanksgiving is the next chance I'll have to ride it. Should be fun. But in one week 'cross is over and I can plan a weekend out to Blue Marsh and ride the hell out of that bike. I'd like to do some SS mtb races in 2010.

So that wasn't completely negative was it? Probably shouldn't try to write something positive when a family member is dying, Flat broke before Chistmas,my legs feel like trembling weak noodles, and I'm exhausted from playing with Luke.

So here I'll end this shit on a high note. I wasn't kidding about the bear...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


I've been gearing up for this season for awhile. Even before last season ended. And this season, so far, has been an utter disaster. At first I was confused, then angry. Then someone I least expected to set me straight told me that if I was taking cycling so serious that I wasn't enjoying it anymore that maybe I should rethink riding a bike at all. This is supposed to be fun.


I've also received some great advice from a good friend on how to recover from what seems to be my main problem of over training.

So it seems as though my new Bianchi Sok Singlespeed 29er came late but right on time. This bike is nothing but fun. So this weekend I'm going to do just that. I'm going to take it out with Martin and remind myself why I ride bikes.


Sunday, September 27, 2009


That about sums up the 'cross season. Nittany I rolled a tire while floundering in about 10th place. Whirlybird was a amateur hour. Crashed while in 3rd place half way through lap 1. Wouldn't matter anyway since I got side stitches for the next 45 mins. Crashed around corners, tied up in the tape, tripped over barriers. I rode better in my first Cat. C race.

Really need to get my fucking had in the game. Not sure how to get there though.

This pic sums it up... FAIL

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Sok it to me

Me so horny for 29ers. After much deliberation I've decided to sell my Santa Cruz Blur. It was like a fwb. It was good while it lasted but it just wasn't meant to be. Mainly I was sick of clogging up the derailleur and cursing and screaming in the middle of the woods all winter. Seriously.... bullshit. It's off to a nice home in CA where the guy said he bought it to "ride around with his young kids." Ummm... ok. You bought a all XTR race sled for $1550 so you could ride with your kids in the driveway. Whatever dude. Good luck to you. Can't imagine what his kids are riding.

So I'm saying goodbye to derailleurs, goodbye to shifters, goodbye to rear suspension, and goodbye to 26" wheels. Hello to 29", single speed, hardtail, pure sexified mtb goodness. I'm going to ride the shit out of this thing ('09 SS Bianchi Sok).

Only problem is I'm getting this at the beginning of 'cross season. So I'm going t have to forget it's there for 3-4 months. Right... Totally going to screw up my head for 'crosss season. Focus! FOCUS!!!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Burnt out *EDITED*

I think I may be burning out. Not sure how as only ride 300 miles a week lately. I've scaled back over the last month to try and fend off this ugly burn out beast. One day my legs feel ok and the very next I can barely turn the pedals over. That and I've been training alone which sucks. Having ADD doesn't help the situation out on the road. It pretty much goes like this in my head:
"Ok sprint for the next 60 secs, GO!!"
"GO GO GO GO!!!"
"Ughh this sucks.."
"What it's only been 24 secs?!?! Fuck me.."
"Hey I've never seen that house before. Hmmf.."
"I wonder how much a house like that costs"
"I'll have to look it up when I get home"
"Yea, right I'll never remember"
"Fuck I stopped sprinting, damn it!"
"Ok rest fora min and try this again, idiot"

So that's why I can never get a good block of training in. And the guys I ride with are all either too slow or too fast that I don't want to burden them with having to pull me along for 80 miles so I don't even ask. Yea I know there are much bigger problems in the word but this is mine, ok. I need to find some fast local dudes who can put a hurt on me without dropping me.
Whatever it's 'cross preseason I need to change my training plan anyway.
Good thing there is Grass Track Monday's. Kelly Cline is m new hero. He put this simple impromptu race on and it's more fun then a 3-way. That and I also got the word from G that there is going to be cx practice on Tuesday coming up soon. It's all coming around. Now I just need to get the legs working again.
Maybe I should take a week off and get fat and drink beer?

New Rule, don't blog after a bottle of wine and a pain killer. I'm a gigantic ass. First off the people I ride with are not slower then me at times they are much stronger then me. I just think I'm faster then everyone after downing a bottle of Cab. Secondly, I would never take a week off to get fat. While it is true I've been drinking alot more lately (mainly due t the fact that this is the few weeks of the year when I'm not racing or training) I'm not going to stop riding. Although it wouldn't hurt. I'll just ride like a normal person for a week to give the legs a break. I also noticed I swear a lot when I'm drunk. Ok a lot more.

Monday, August 10, 2009

True Love

I may have said this before but I love Cyclocross. No I mean it, I really really love it. And while I’ve only known about the sport for a few years now I’ve actually loved it since I was a little kid. We just didn’t call it ‘cross we called it riding our bmx bikes on the numerous homemade tracks that we had built in the woods (all of which have been bull dozed and paved over). We used to take our bikes back in the woods with wheelbarrows, shovels, picks, and saws. We’d spend all summer building up burms, obstacles, jumps over big pits. We even had steep kickers dug into the side of the hill. And if you didn’t get the right speed coming out of the corner it became a runup. We were constantly falling off our bikes and running with them to get back in the race. Sound familiar??
‘Cross adds in the sadomasochistic element. Even before I wrestle for good starting position, my stomach is churning and turning realizing the impending doom. I’m not sure if it’s cold sweats or the 40 degree air that has my skin crawling. “Why am I doing this” is usually a thought that goes through my head moments before the gun goes off. That’s when I remember as I unleash my best sprint. The whole time grinning from ear to ear. Or at least in my head I’m grinning like I just got away with something. The stomach settles and spend the next 45 mins trying to drop or chase somebody through the taped course.
Did I mention there is mud, blood, and beer all being mixed together? If you’re lucky it will start raining at a ‘cross race and the attitude usually turns from trying to kill the guy behind you to laughing at the racers sliding all over the course as the race magically turns into a muddy slip-n-slide. You suddenly turn back into that 12 year old kid in the woods laughing and playing with your friends in the mud with your bikes. Everything is right in the world just for a few minutes.

I love ‘cross.

Here it comes….

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Tour of Lancaster County(ToLC):Course: 55 miles with about 600ft climbing per 10 mile lap. Nice long flat section through a shaded valley alongside a creek followed by a steep but short climb. Then some nice rollers followed by 2 wicked descents hitting 49.8 mph (p.s. I saw a nice Garmin at the bottom of the one descent. Hope that dude recovered it). Some more rollers out in the 90 degree farm country of Lancaster which leads back into the shaded valley. Finish is a separate climb that starts at about 10%-12% and then levels off to about 4% for the finishing sprint (500meter short climb).
Did the 3/4 ToLC on Saturday. Started the day off badly by having a real bad bout of the runs. Spent most of my morning on the porcelain god praying for an end. Got to the race and spent my pre-race in the port o jon. Made it to the start line without soiling myself thank God.
So that should sum up how I felt physically. As the for the race itself it started off slow with a few guys going off the front. There were a few guys patrolling the front that weren't on a team and had us going ridiculously slow. So I went to the front to try and get some guys working to pick up the pace. I figured the breaks weren't going to last with 50 miles still to go and some short but steep hills in the way. Of course no one would pull through as I lifted the pace and so I just kept it at a fast tempo but nothing that would burn me out. We hit the first climb and my teammate went pedaling by me with another guy. So my team and I immediately went into blocking mode. We slowed the pace down for the next 2 laps to a laughable sped. Until finally the other teams decided enough was enough and swarmed us. By then the break had a few minutes and with good luck would last to the end. I spent lap 3 trying not to defecate myself and swallowing a small amount of puke. Yo-yoed off the back a few times. Considered quitting. But then I realized this is almost as painful as 'cross and I never quit that. So I went back to the front and whined to my team hoping to get sympathy. I got none.With 2 laps to go the Local Shirks team drove hard at the front but didn't really bring back the break that much. Although they did launch a guy off the front who ended up catching the break somehow. Kudos to him for an amazing ride. With one lap to go every guy was trying to break away and of course no one is letting them with the finish a few miles away. I sat in and waited for the final "climb"/sprint. Moved my way up to the front when we hit the base. I think 2 guys got ahead of us at some point as I saw some guys pedaling way ahead of us. Then with 200m to go no one had made a move so I figured that if I sprinted now and got last place then at least I tried. So I hit it as hard as I could. My teammate grabbed my wheel. Two other guys were able to come around me right away but I was able to hold off everyone else including my stomach.All in all a fun race. Bad day for me. But worth another shot at it next year.Gratuitous pic of me about to collapse as I cross the line (that guy on my right really was trying to pip me for some reason. I gave it one more hard crank to hold him off)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Part 2

So where did I leave off? Oh right, mile 5... So Jenny drives me to Martin's place with the replacement bike on the roof (did mention I married the greatest woman ever?). As I'm swapping out the pedals I remembered the C'dale only holds one water bottle. It's going up to near 100 degrees (mind you it's been 81 degrees for the past two weeks until this day) and I'm only going to have one bottle. So I stuff one in my jersey and pray or frequent water stops.
We get through PA and into DE and it doesn't get any flatter. At around 3,000 feet of climbing in just 60 miles I start worrying how I'm going to do 170 miles. Then comes Newark. I've been all over the world and I can say for certain Newark is one of the worst towns I've ever been to. This place should be napalmed on a daily basis until it's just a burnt spot on the map. Shithole would be a good way to describe it. It was like riding through a white trash version of east LA. Of all the things that went wrong this day Newark was the worst one.
After pedaling through said shithole we finally make it to the canal. The only way to get over the canal is to ride on 896, a local highway. That wasn't all that bad. It wouldn't have been bad if it was the only highway we had to ride on. But after all the DE bike route signs had been torn down we found ourselves riding down rt. 15 which Martin was sure would bring us out "somewhere around where we want to go". Great.... At one point rt. 15 was closed and we had to detour back out to a highway. This was starting to get annoying. We got back onto rt. 15 when that stooped being rt. 15. We ended up on random back roads wandering south. At one point I knew we were in trouble when Martin said not to worry "as long as we keep heading south" at which point I looked down at my computer and noticed we were heading West. Martin simply replied. "Oh... Well then we need to turn left." We were approaching 6 hours in the saddle and we had no clue where we were or how to get where we were going. A call to my sister, a google map search, and we started heading in the right direction. A few more calls, a flat tire, hearing Martin say we have 4 more hours to go and I threw in the towel. We weren't going anywhere fast, DE roads are ridiculously bad when it comes to being marked, and I couldn't bear the thought f arguing with my sister and mom about this trip. So I called Michelle (sister) and had her drive up and pick us up in some hick town. By the way, if you ever want to have a good time, get dressed up n spandex and hang out at the only gas station in a rural DE town. People gave us looks like we had two heads. To be fair there were some cool kids who gave us direction to Dover.
I can honestly say I will never ride a bike in DE again. F* that!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

F Delaware Part 1

So Martin and I decided to ride down to Rehobeth despite the forecast. I should have turned around and cancelled it at mile 3 when my chain dropped.
And let me go into this chain thing. I took my bike to the Bike Barn (now Phoenix Cycles)when I first put this derailleur on because it wouldn't shift into my 12 ring for some reason. I had this happen on the bike when I first assembled it and Roy at the Bike Barn had fixed it in just a few seconds, no problemo. This time I took it in and the other guy "fixed" it. The entire time trashing me (although I didn't tell him it was me) for my adjustment of the derailleur. Saying who ever did it was an idiot and if I rode it like this (which I was) that it'd throw the derailleur into the wheel (which I obviously hadn't). Whatever dude, just fix it and shut up. So he "fixed" it and charged me a couple bucks and I was on my way. Soon after that I was riding and shifted into my small front ring and my chain dropped. WTF? Why did that happen if the guy was just "fixing" my derailleurs?? Whatever, maybe it was a fluke and I never need to use my small ring anyway. Well then Nebo came and I did need to use my small ring and guess what my chain dropped twice in that race and I had to bail on the 4th lap (albeit I was dropped on my own lack of fitness anyway and ready to quit).
So at mile 3 on my way to DE I drop my chain as I shift into the small ring. "Damn it!" Ok settle down it won't happen again if I shift delicately. Approach another hill at mile 5 and slowly down shift into the small ring and "BANG, KAPOW!!" my chain drops and also gets wrapped around the rear cog and rips my rear derailleur right into the rear wheel. Yea, way to go fuck face. You're a hell of a mechanic. Telling me I had it all wrong. Well mine may have been ass backwards but my chain never dropped and I didn't ruin a brand new Dura-Ace derailleur. Fuck you ass hat! I'll be paying you a visit soon to tell you what a great wrench you are.
Luckily I didn't break the frame on my Tarmac or I'd be in jail for Assault and Battery on a mechanic. So I called Jenny and had her bring out my spare bike (yes I have spares, thank God). Well Jenny never loaded a bike onto the bike rack and I tried to calmly in my non-calm state explain to her how to put it on the car. She seemed to understand how it worked (best wife ever by the way) after me yelling at her for a few mins. Then I receive a call a min later from her frantically telling me the bike had fallen off of the rack and onto the car. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! What else could go wrong??

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


For the last week it's been beautiful. Low 80's slight breeze from the Northwest, and sunny. Tomorrow I'm riding 150 miles or more to the beach with Martin and suddenly it's going to be close to 90, humid, raining, and winds gusting from the south. Awesome...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Club rider

I've said in the past how annoying club riders are in their faux kits and their loud mouthed antics on the starting line. This year I've joined a club and have put on the wannabe pro looking kit hoping that being on a team would provide me with the adequate training I've been missing. It has not. To the team's defense they do have weekday rides in the AM. However, they are in Philly and I am not. Even if I was, my work schedule would not allow it. The only thing I've gotten out of being a club rider so far is endless emails about people's race reports.
So I was thinking of dropping the team thing at the end of this year and spending my money on something useful like a coach. A quick search of local coaches set me straight. $200-$350/month!!! WTF? Who can afford that? The sport is expensive enough just to buy the gear and race entries. I'm not saying these coaches aren't worth that. I just can't imagine paying that kind of money for anything. I thought my cell phone bill was too much money a month...
So maybe I'll just go back to being a independent who gets his training tips from books, magazines, and the net. I love this sport but the cost to be competitive is just too daunting and depressing. At least with running all you needed was a pair of shoes every 6 months.

Google Maps

Too long I've relied on other peoples training routes. It has however worked out good as I've gotten to do some amazing routes and amazing local climbs. None of which I've ever remembered. Which makes me want a Garmin even more then before. So yesterday I decided to try and devise my own route using gooogle maps. This was after searching mapmyrides for a local rode an finding nothing worth riding. At least not in the area I wanted to ride. So I put together a nice short 2.5hr ride that would drop me off at the in-laws.

I found out one bad thing about Google maps... it's completly inaccurate! Street names aren't what it says they are. So I had to guess where to turn. I didn't do the mileage pedometer thing so I just guessed based on memory. Luckily I guessed right. Or close to it anyway and found my way. The other thing Google doesn't display is when a road goes from paved to completely washed out gravel roads. That was a nice surprise.

So I think I'll start memorizing those beautiful routes other people have led me on and go from there. Trying on my own using an online map is clearly not the way to go.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Tire Gods hate me

I have no idea what's going on but I went almost 2 years without a flat and in the last 2 months I've had about 10 flats. All on different tires and different wheels. Just to qualify it for all of you who were thinking I was mounting tubes in a tire filled with glass. I finally got to do the Thursday night crit and I flatted on the first lap (just realized I flatted in front of the parking lot both times. Not too bad as far as timing goes) swung into the parking lot changed out the tube and did about 10 laps and flatted again. WTF?? I've spent about $35 on tubes in the last two months. That's fucking stupid. Aghhhh...

On another note, I need to race. I haven't raced in forever. Every time there has been a good race I'm always away on that weekend. Now it's going to be July and I'm going to suck in the heat.

On another side note, I hate when people are aloof. If you got something to say then say it. I just hate when people are your buddy one day and the next they act like they don't know you.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

It's about to get nutty

So I haven't posted in awhile for many reasons, laziness mostly but I've been taking the last month to slow down and enjoy life and the family. Not that I needed to fall in love with cycling anymore then I already have but not racing for a month and just riding this new bike around has reminded me how much I love the art of cycling. Having one of the best bikes ever made doesn't hurt either.
But as the title suggests this is just the calm before the storm. 'Cross season is coming up and I'm going all out this year. I'm going to sell the motorcycle and buy a moped to do motor pacing all summer and fall. The 'crosss team (all 4 of us) is getting together to plan a pre-season workout schedule. It's going to be nuts.
Now to get this new Dugast glued up...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Horner WTF?

So I' watching the Giro today and Armstrong is getting spit out the back. Obviously he's not on the sauce. This is how he really would have been with out the EPO back in the day. But Horner?!?! Seriously, this guy has never been able to hold the wheel of any of the world class climbers to the top of a climb until this Giro. Now the dude is Joe climber. Does anyone believe this shit? It's like watching WWE. It reminds me of Bernard Kohl, Ricco, and Schumacher. Guys who never amounted to much their whole career and can all of a sudden climb like they have wings. I hate cheaters...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Turkey Hill report

I got there early because Geronimo didn't pre-register but that gave us time to ride around the course. Geronimo happened to win the 1/2/3 version of this race a few years ago so he gave me a ton of invaluable advice as we soft pedaled around the course. Advice which I tried to unload on the other 5 Ciclismo guys (Matt H., J. Cole, Ashley D., Dan L., and C. Newport)a few minutes before the race started. We also came up with a buddy system so that we could look after each other during the race.

For me the race started off at a nice leisurely pace which I needed because my legs felt like doo doo as they had all week. But that soon changed and we started to motor along as breaks formed and chases ensued. Around mile 30 of 60 I found it hard going and slipped to the back. I stayed back there for a few laps and tried to recover. Soon I noticed that I didn't see as many Ciclismo jerseys up front. Somehow Ashley and Jason slipped off the back and I didn't see them go. So much for being a "buddy"... I suck. Turns out a lot of people dropped off as the pace got increasingly faster. About half the field of 100 didn't finish.

So I moved back up the front again where Matt, Dan, and Chris were all day. And the race finally came down to the last two laps in which we would go up the "Gambler Wall". I was envisioning this mile long 17% wall of death. Turns out the "wall" was about 40 meters long and could be coasted half way up if you got enough speed approaching it. I found it funny that I worried about this short but steep kicker all week. At the beginning of the last lap I tried getting away as I was told before the race would be a good opportunity to. But as I turned around after my "sprint" I saw the whole field still on my wheel. (bad idea #1). We hit the "wall" for the last time and gapped a few more people. The field now down to about 30 guys Dan, Chris, and myself still in it. Along the back straight I found myself at the front with one guy up the road. So I thought "what the hell, why not" so I dug deep and bridged up the lone rider. Again I turned around I see the field is still on my wheel. I didn't bridge up, I chased down unintentionally (bad idea #2). So now I had to recover from two sprints in the last lap. Coming down the finishing straight Dan was coming up the right when a bad crash happened right in front of him. Good bunny hopping skills saved his ass but caused him to lose out in the sprint. I had nothing left for the sprint and was right behind Chris. Since I was not being led out and couldn't give Chris a proper lead out I decided to just scream at Chris to "GO GO GO GO f$#% GO!!!" I'm pretty sure Chris didn't appreciate being screamed at in the final sprint by someone he met a few hours before and who was not providing him with any physical support whatsoever (bad idea #3). Oh well, sorry Chris.

So I crossed the line with 30 other tired guys at the same time. They placed me in 20th, sounds about right from where I was sitting. Nothing special, but I'm told to keep looking at the bright side. We did drop 70% of the field, we worked well as a team, it's not a bad place for my 6th or so road race, and I learned how to take off knee warmers mid-pack. I can't wait to do this race again next year.

That's all folks!

Monday, April 27, 2009


So I decided to take off work and go on a training ride with my fellow 'cross teammates. Unfortunately for me the heat (in April, wtf?!) was around 94-98 according to my 'puter. Do you remember when you were a kid and their was always one kid who would be taken off the soccer field via ambulance for heat stroke/exhaustion? That was me. I cannot do the heat. I can ride when it's 0 degrees out but anything above 85 and I wither away like a angry, bitching flower.

Needless to say I sucked today. I think I cracked leaving Jamie's driveway. Seriously before we hit the first climb I was already feeling it. The first climb by the way is 22%. 3 hours and 5,600 feet later I was in a real bad place. My heart was racing no matter how slow I went. My skin felt cold and clammy. I couldn't think straight. I went into robot mode and just pedaled slowly and made it back home. It was by far one of the worst days I've ever had on a bike. The other three would just pedal away from me and there was nothing I could do. Push it any harder and I'm pretty sure things would have went black and I'd wake up in the hospital. Just like when I was a kid.

I can't wait until the fall. I'm already tired of summer.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Lower Providence crit

Remember what I said last week about loving crits? I take it all back. I hate crits. I especially hate all the fat hangers on who show up for the 10 seconds of racing they do. I was having a good week on the bike but had to take a few days off due to being a normal person with a job and family. So that sucked. But I was hoping that feeling would carry over into Sunday's race. It didn't really. I mean I felt as I was one of the stronger guys in the pack (at least one of the stronger guys who was actually dong any real racing) but I didn't have that "unstoppable" feeling in the legs.

Let me start from the beginning. I signed up for the Cat. 4thinking it would be an easy win. Wrong! I totally forgot about all the guys who ride around in circles for 40 mins saving it all or the sprint. ANYWAY... The whistle goes off and some old dude (pretty strong too. Gave me some hope for my future old self) takes off and gets away pretty easy. No one chases, he stays out for a few laps finally pops and comes back in. He tries a few more times to his credit but never gets away. Another guy goes off and some due starts yelling about "he's a Cat 1 cyclocross!" repeatedly. So what the hell I rarely hear the word cyclocross so I chase him down. This dude tries to get away about 10 more times every time the same way. I'm not sure what he was doing. He seemed pretty strong I was actually hoping he would get away but he seemed to sit up after he came to he finishing straight. Weird... So we are racing and Jamie comes to the front and does some work but kind of seems like he is just playing around having fun. He felt good so he tried to get in some breaks. I tried putting on a one man block every time Jamie went out but Obviously that didn't work. Cole was tucked safely in the pack saving it for the sprint or for if I got away. I tried several times to go off in a break and every time I'd catch the break only to urn around and see 40 riders stung out on my wheel right behind me. SO with 4 laps to go I said "fuck it" and gave it a real dig and got clear. I got a nice gap and held it for a lap before it started dwindling. I was hoping someone would come up and join me but no one did. Actually some dude did come up right before I got caught and said "let's go man!" so I let him get in front to give me a break and as I did I noticed my speed was slower then when I was alone. I yelled at the guy o go faster but he pulled off and I took off again. This time feeling tired as I'd been alone for 2 laps and with 2 laps to go the pace was much faster. I was caught by the first corner. So I sat up and went straight to the back where I almost got spit out. Took a deep breath tried to recover for a lap. Went back the front. Some douche dives into the corner in front of me slams hard on the brakes because I guess he got scared and sends the rest of the race scrambling not to eat shit. Asshole... This screws over Jamie and Jason as they get pushed to the back. They never recover from that and they finis behind me. Sucks too because I could have led someone out. I was able to get around said dipshit and sprint up the back straight to get near the front. I'm about 10th wheel coming into the sprint and I got nothing. I'm still beat from the pitiful solo break and the back straight away sprint. My goal quickly becomes not to crack before the line or get passed. I think 1-2 dudes inched passed me and about 10 guys I hadn't seen all day are in front of me sprinting their ass off.
SO this is why I hate crits. If you're reading this and you are one f those guys who just sits in I'm not ragging on you. That's the nature of this style racing. And sitting in and letting guys like me put the pace on because we think we can crack the field or get away only serves you better. You're smarter then me for sure. I don't fault you one bit, if I was a sprinter, and I'm so not, I'd do the same thing.
So bring on the road races! I'm going to miss Tour De Ephrata but I should get into every other road race or long circuit race. And then it's payback.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I've never liked crits. That was until tonight when I dominated the local Thursday night crit. I went on about 8 breaks with minimal effort. On the last 3 laps when the big boys finally came out to play I grabbed their wheels easily. The feeling o flying past everyone at close to 40mph with a group of other really strong riders and not feeling like you're going to crack is an almost super human feeling. I almost thought I was going to ride away with this thing when me and some Elite dude came into the last corner with a little bit of a gap on the main field. Of course they caught us right in front of the parking lot and I had no sprint and had to sit up as everyone went flying by.

Still... I crushed that thing tonight. Would have been nice if the rest of my team could have been there. Or Geronimo. Or someone. I have no one (except Jamie but I don't think he was at the very front) to witness my one night of crit greatness.

I have no idea where these legs came from but I'm loving it.

1st race of the year

So last year I did one cat. 5 race ad decided I hate road racing. Or at least that it just wasn't fun to me. First, I must explain one thing about me. Since birth I've only liked things that I'm good at from the get go. If I couldn't pick it up quickly and be the best I didn't want anything to do with it. So last year wen I did a shitty Cat. 5 road race and I missed the break and ended up chasing for 45 mins only to catch the break right as the sprinted for the finish I put my thoughts of road racing on the back shelf and focused on what I live, cx. Plus roadies are elitist uptight pricks anyway.
This year I'm on a team and as a sign of good faith I decided to do some road races. So screw Cat. 5's and their replica jersey wearing, sketchy riding asses. And while I'm at it screw Cat. 4's too. Why? I don't know just because I'm an elitist uptight prick I guess. So I decided to do a 3/4 race and throw down with the semi big boys. Everyone goes from cat. 5 to cat. 3/4, right? So I line up Saturday in the freezing cold. Being at race weight and having hardly any body fat makes for some chilly mornings. I wasn't shivering I was convulsing. But I digress. The group finally takes off and I warm up. The pace was nice and speedy which pleased me but my legs weren't feeling very strong. I went to the front to try ad get positioned for a break (by the way the wind gusts that morning were 50mph). Just trying to gt to the front I almost cracked. So back into the pack I went. Legs feeling like crap. The speed one lap was 34mph across the finish, the next time through it was 24mph and the next it was 19mph. It was all over the place. It didn't matter because I felt like crap. FINALLY on the 2nd to last lap my legs woke up and felt like they had been all week. I move from the back to the front and looked for our sprinter. I got behind him on the last lap and I couldn't get around because we were pinched on the right against the shoulder of the road. So there was no lead out fr me. Going into the final meters it opened up into a group sprint and I pulled a killer sprint out of my ass (I can't sprint to save my life). I was passing dudes like they were sitting still. So I'm looking for more gears and realizing I didn't have any and as I am coming on the front line of dudes these two jerk offs in front of me sit up and stop pedaling I couldn't get around them and I ended up having to brake hard as I approached the line. WTF? I could of actually came close to winning this thing... I'm sure the other 20 guys that came across the line with me had similar thoughts but still. So it could have been worse. Ended up 18th out of 70 dudes. Not bad for moving up a few Cats.

Still looking for that win though.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I am Specialized

I couldn't say no. I really couldn't. It was too good t be true. Just a few hundred bucks for one of the best (non-custom) frames in the world. So what if I didn't have a few hundred bucks. So what if it's one size bigger then my optimal sizing. So what! The only thing I really don't like about it is that it is so popular of a frame. On looks alone the S Works Tarmac is a perfect 10. Other frame makers are standing in line just waiting to copy the curved top tube. But enough about how I'm gay for the looks of this bike. Let me tell you how gay I am for how this bike feels between my sweaty thighs.

Snappy. That's the best way I can put it. I'm coming off of a Cannondale Optimo CX. That bike flexed when you really were stomping on the pedals. It was most noticeable when the fenders were mounted in the rain. The wheels would rub when you were climbing. With the Tarmac and it's ridiculously large bottom bracket shell I went out for an easy spin this weekend with Martin and on the first climb I stood up, stomped and pulled on the pedals and the bike accelerated without any hesitation or loss of power. It just snaps forward when you pedal. Even though I felt like shit I zipped right up the climb. It's probably something best explained first hand. Overall it's just a fun ride and gives me a shit eating grin every time I ride it.

P.S. I scored some speedplay x1 pedals ($325 new) for $40. Long story short. Someone thought they were worn out and they aren't. Not even a little. Pedals are almost as cool as the new bike. Especially coming off a lifetime of riding sloppy mtb pedals.

Friday, March 13, 2009

F* me

I just had the week and a half from hell. My beautiful baby boy lost his f'ing mind and stopped sleeping at night. He would scream, not cry, scream without stopping from about 10pm to 3-4am every night. A few more days and I think I would have jumped off a cliff. What a nightmare.

I'm afraid to even make any gesture about things getting back to normal... So I won't.

But I was able to put in a couple hundred miles this week which is stellar. I need lots and lots of base miles. That last ride I posted about was perfect now if I can log that ride every weekend I'll be set. Although tomorrow should be fun. Some fast guys doing a mtb ride around Green Lane.

And thanks to Geronimo for just being cool. All I asked was for a sports drink and I end up with a training plan. The world needs more dudes like that and less pimped out Geo metro driving douche bags (aka 99% of Pottstown).

Saturday, February 28, 2009


I love climbing. I should just stop the post right there. There's nothing else more to say really. But I'll continue a bit for posterity sake. We did 5501 feet of climbing today. Not bad for an early season ride. I would have liked to do more but what the ride lacked in feet it more than made up for in gradient. The first big accent was 22%. For those of you who don't know that steep of road would be very difficult to walk up let alone ride. When I first saw it the first thought I had was "maybe I should get off and walk up". I've never huffed and puffed so hard in my life.

The limbs got easier and ride pressed on. We saw some crazy shit out in Berks county like a HUGE Noah's arc type boat that a a house. This place is money too. Not some local yokel living in a boat. I would love to take a look inside. I'll have to figure that out one day.

Couple more weekend like this and I'll be back on track to being in race shape. My weight is around 146lbs and I'd guesstimate my bmi to be 7%? I got buzzed off one Miller Lite last night. That should be an indication that I'm getting skinny. Can't wear my wedding ring any more either. Pretty sure a 10 year old could kick my ass.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

crazy or tough?

It was 36 degrees and raining when I left work today. It quickly turned to sleet which then turned to hail which then turned back into sleet and finally back into rain once I got home to the wannabe ghetto. The back roads were starting to get covered in a sleeting slush. Everyone I talked to today said I was crazy t ride in this. Jenny said I was crazy. That's BS... I mean I am crazy but that has nothing to do with it. I rode because I can and because I don't let little things like my boots being filled with ice cold water or being pelted in the face with sleet and hail stop me.

It'd be nice to hear once, "Wow, that's some hard work you put in on the bike."

Crazy... I got your crazy right here!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"like my brakes were on"

I was drilling it the whole way to work this morning to compensate for being lazy and only getting out once over the weekend. But for some reason over the last 10 miles it felt like I just got incredibly tired and slow. Even on the last downhill where I can usually break 40mph I had to pedal the whole way down. Was there a headwind that I wasn't feeling? It just felt like my brakes were on...

Well it turns out the front brake was stuck on. I really need to get a disc brake commuter bike. There is no reason to be using rim brakes in 2009. I don't get why the UCI and the rest of the world is still stuck on stupid. It's laughable really. It would be like if they made Moto GP ride shaft driven drum brake bikes. Fucking stupid...

Saturday, February 7, 2009


For our friends without kids, us having kids was like contracting HIV. Since we've had Luke the number of times our friends have some up to see us has equaled < 1 time per friend. For most of our friends it consisted of the obligatory visit soon after he was born. And like AIDS if was uncomfortable and awkward for our friends. A few of them adored Luke and gushed over him but most held him like they would a cobra. Then that was it. Haven't seen any of them since. A few real shit bag friends (Beau) just totally dropped us like a bag of rocks. No calls, haven't returned any emails, nothing. Fuck 'em.

The real lesson is that the only people who will be there for you is family. And that is even questionable...

Friday, January 30, 2009


So I pride myself on riding year round. Not letting the bitter cold of winter nor the oppressing heat of summer stop me. Needless to say I've handed out quite a bit of slack to those who cowered in their basement all winter afraid to 'man up' and ride through the chill. However, this year being a father has given me greater responsibility or to be exact taken away my irresponsibility. It's extremely icy out the last few days and sliding in front of dump trucks or pushing off out of control cars is no longer an option.

Sooooo I've taken to riding the trainer in my basement. At first I was disgusted at myself for relegating myself indoors for a mediocre workout. However, I quickly found out that a person can get a pretty decent workout on a trainer. I can't do sprints intervals for 2 hours straight with all these hills around here but in my basement it's possible. In fact it was actually kind of pleasurable. I took the laptop down and watched full length TV shows and pedaled my ass off.

So I take back some of what I said to you folks hiding in your basements. Some...

Monday, January 19, 2009

Snow Cross

Went out for a ride today with Martin, Stephan, Jamie, Craig, and Jeff. Martin and Jeff rode their mtb's and the rest rode cx bikes. The first half was rough going. Flatted within 30 mins of the start and then we went on some fun trails with one too many fallen trees for a cx bike. After awhile I just started running to avoid trashing my rear wheel or eating shit. The latter of which is inevitable when you're me.

Stole a pic from Martin. Me running with the bike and wearing a borrowed 80's mtb helmet. Saved me an ER visit today.

The second half was awesome and I could have done that smooth carvy trail all day. Of course I tried to see how far I could propel myself head first into the ground at one point. Didn't feel to great. Might have a slight concussion. I just felt like I was warming up and it was time to get home to my teething one year old. Who is pushing through 4 molars a once. Needless to say no one is sleeping much.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

BMX Part Deux

So some dude wants to trade me his new(ish) race bike for my old school ride. How could I say no?



Easy decision.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


In the spirit of Crew Jones (RAD) I think I'm going to try my hand at racing BMX again. It's been a long time and I still have the bike I raced back in the day.

But I think I'm going t get rid of it and buy a 24" cruiser like this one. It's just rotting away in my basement and there are dudes who collect this stuff and will keep in nice. It's going to rust away and I'll never use it.

Luckily there is a new track in my town (the only good thing in this shithole). Not like I feel like paying dues to another bicycle league but whatever.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I've got nothing

I haven't made a post in a little because I really don't have much to say. Nothing good anyway. I've just been sitting around with frozen peas on my nads for two weeks. Things are getting better but at an amazingly slow rate. It's only been 2 weeks but it seems like 2 months.

Also, when I was told I was having the lump removed I assumed they would just take the lump. I read the pathology report and the size of "tissue" they looked at was equal to about 75% of one of my boys. I REALLY would liked to have known that ahead of time...

So here I sit just day dreaming about riding a bike. I should probably get working on the motorcycle in the garage.
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